shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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