went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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