He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize