This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Rumble strips road head = magical
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
