he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
