i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
