wanna go halves on a baby?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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