After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So squirting runs in the family.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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