nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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