She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
