I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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