i love accidental penises.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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