I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
