i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
