Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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