Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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