..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
