Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She even gives head with a lisp.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize