Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
