something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
