It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
