how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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