I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
