I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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