Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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