p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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