This girl is more easily done than said...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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