I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
