youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
