its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My first STD was from a foam party
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
