no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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