Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
