So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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