I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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