So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize