unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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