Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
