Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
