If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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