Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
