I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
