I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
