and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i out mim tonsoeep
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