We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
