i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
sex in a hospital.. check
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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