Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
