and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Pants are for mortals
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
