so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
