she takes plan B like it's going out of style
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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