i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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