Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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