Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
