i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
50% drunk capacity currently
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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