I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
