I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
