4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
