I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
