To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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