I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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