After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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