I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
