I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
