are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
