Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize