To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
