I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
