Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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