I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize