I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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