He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
