My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
