Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
