This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
