thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
