STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
