I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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