My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
